11 Top tips to deal with a fussy eater…
Don’t label kids as fussy (to their face)
Kids will often live up to the names they’re labeled as so be mindful of the language you use around them. This goes for grandparents, daycare or school teachers too, so if you hear someone label your kid as fussy have a kind word to them and ask them to use phases like “you’re still learning” instead. For example, you could say ‘my daughter is still learning to like carrots’ instead of saying ‘my daughter hates carrots’ or ‘my daughter is fussy when it comes to carrots.
Don’t pressure kids to eat, take a bite or finish their plate
If kids are forced to eat something they are more likely to strongly dislike that food forever. Take myself for instance, as a child I was forced to eat potato. It was usually boiled and I was not a fan but I wasn’t allowed to leave the table until I had finished it. Now these days, I don’t hate potato but it’s definitely not my favourite and I hardly ever buy white potato for my family and if i do, trust me, its not boiled! Now, would i eat more potato these days had i not been forced to eat it as a kid? Well who knows, but its not the end of the world that i don’t eat it.
Bribing kids to eat is also a form of pressure. “Eat your veggies and you can have dessert”. This starts to put food on a rating system and kids will start to hate the veggies more and increase their desire for dessert which perfectly leads into my next point.
Don’t label food as good/bad or even healthy/unhealthy.
If you start to label food as good or bad then research shows that kids start to want more of the “bad” foods and less of the “good”. It can also lead to feelings of guilt and lead people to think that if i eat chocolate cake (perceived as a bad food) then I must be a bad person. Food has no moral value so it can’t be good or bad. I love how Kids.Eat.In.Color define it which is that some foods do a lot in our bodies, such as veggies, and some do a little, such as chocolate.
As well as not wanting my kids to grow up and feel bad about themselves if they eat cake, I don’t want them to think less of someone else if that person eats cake too. Food shouldn’t define us, so I would hate to hear my kids come home from school speaking negatively towards a classmate because of what was in that kids lunchbox.
Let kids make mess when eating
Starting from when kids are babies, let them be messy with food and even (to an extent) let them play with their food. If pushing their peas around on their plates pretending their fork is a bulldozer leads them to eating those peas then let it be!!
And if you are always coming at your baby or kid with a cloth to wipe their hands or face then they will be too worried about getting messy to enjoy their food, so embrace the mess!
Take your kids to the supermarket or farmers market
I know it can be hard, take twice as long and you might have to deal with the 1000 requests for whatever but kids need to see food and they need to see all food. A good trick when at the supermarket is have your child put the fruits and veggies in the trolley themselves. Get them to touch the veggies and instead of talking about whether they will try that food later, talk to them about how it feels, or the colour or get them to come up with an imaginative story about it “What if broccoli were trees in a forrest…”
Having kids see chips, biscuits and lollies is also a good opportunity to talk about what these foods do in our bodies and how they might make us feel and why we don’t eat these foods every day. The important thing is to not demonise these foods. You might not say any of those things and instead simply say “thats not on the shopping list this week, maybe we will get that next week”. Remember, food has no moral value. Food is food.
Keep offering
If your child doesn’t like tomatoes for instance, try offering them a different way or at a different meal or snack. Exposure is so important for kids when learning to try something. They need to feel safe before they will take the leap and try something new. So don’t be disheartened and automatically say they don’t like something after one attempt at offering it. It might take 2 exposures, it might take 200 exposures, it might even take 2000 exposures.
Stick to a meal time schedule
If kids are constantly grazing then they will come to the dinner table and not necessarily be hungry so they will be less likely to eat whats in front of them. Offer meals and snacks every 2-3 hours and only allow water in between these times. It is ok for kids (and adults) to feel a little hungry, kids need to learn what hungry feels like as it will teach them to listen to their bodies and their hunger cues which will set them up for positive eating behaviours later in life.
Having a rough idea what is going to be served at meals and snacks is also a good way to look at nutrients across the day rather then trying to get all nutrients in at each meal or heavily focusing on the veggie component at dinner. Its also a good idea to not just offer those “healthier” foods at meal times (breakfast, lunch, dinner) and then allow “junkier” foods at snack times. Kids will clue onto that pretty quickly and hold out for morning and afternoon tea rather then eating their meal.
Eat meals as a family
Whenever possible, sit and eat with your kids. This goes for breakfast, lunch and even snacks too, not just dinner. Now eating every meal together might be too hard but try to have at least one meal a day where everyone sits and eats together. Kids learn by watching others, so set a good example. If you want your kids to eat more veggies, then you’ll need to too. It’s also a way to show kids how to behave if there is something on their plate that they don’t like. Not everyone has to like everything. You might not like mushrooms. It’s still a good idea to have them on your plate and quietly push them to the side so that your kid can learn that if there is something that they don’t like then it can still be on their plate and they don’t need to have a tantrum about it.
Don’t become a short order cook
Be considerate that kids are still learning to like foods but don’t cater to their every request. Follow the parents provide, children decide motto. You as the parent, decides what will be served at that meal/snack and the child decides what, if anything they will eat. Calmly state that there won’t be another opportunity to eat until the next meal/snack time. What if they decide not to eat anything at dinner and the next meal isn’t until breakfast? Well, if dinner is more than 2 hours before the child goes to bed you could offer a snack (the parent decides what the snack will be). Do always offer at least one food that you know your child likes but incorporate it into the family meal. If you have offered something that they like and they still choose nothing, trust that your child isn’t hungry and don’t make a big fuss.
Don’t offer foods they like the same way
If you have discovered that your kid likes a particular food, try offering it in different ways, at different meal times and if its a packaged food, try different brands from time to time. This creates variety in a familiar or safe food which can broaden their acceptance.
Try buffet style meals
Kids like to feel in control, so being able to serve themselves is a great way for them to do so and can often lead to them trying different foods. Tongs are also a fun utensil to use so let them have a go. If meal times are fun and relaxed, everyone wins!
When to seek more help?
If you are highly stressed, your child is really anxious or stressed at meal times, if there is an issue with certain textures or colours of food or your child’s height or weight are faltering then it might be a good idea to contact your healthcare provider which could include your GP, Dietitian, child health nurse or if its a sensory issue a Speech Pathologist or Occupational Therapist.